WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SIMILE, LIKE?

The worst similes are sometimes just a hair's breadth away from the striking dislocation of the best.

A late-night investigation into why a group of teenagers could be heard laughing like sozzled hyenas downstairs while the rest of us tried to get to sleep revealed the cause as this list of 56 hilarious similes, purportedly from US high school students.

I'm attaching the first ten as a sample, check the rest out here:

Borrowed from this blog.

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.